Sunday, 23 July 2017

Getting To Know Myself - Through Other People's Eyes

Hello again and welcome to another post about my lately very-interesting life. Well, I say very interesting because I have been learning a lot about myself in the past few weeks. It seems that being single gives you the breathing space to get to terms with yourself and even get to know yourself some more, sometimes especially through other people's eyes.

To explain what I mean I must confess that I felt more of an attaché than a person in my own right through the years of being in a serious relationship. It didn't help that I was first dating and then married to someone who was better-known and more influential than myself wherever we went and with whoever we met, as well as that I slowly found myself willingly retreating into a submissive post. Which makes me wonder why I anyway hate being single when I felt that way for so long.

But back to the original idea of getting to know myself better, it all started with that I have over the past months, in acquiring back my status as person rather than one-of-two, become much more sociable. I have made new friends as well as becoming more friendly with my colleagues, as if finally coming out of my shell really. So here are some things that I learnt about myself through other people's comments:

- I apparently care too much. About everyone, and everything. A friend correctly told me, more than once, that I should 'just do my thing' and well, if the other people fit into it, well and good, otherwise no prob!

- And I think too much too, about every little detail and every word. I put too much effort into analysing even a passing comment and generally upset myself or worry too much for nothing as a result.

- I am a dreamer (well, I used to know this before life got in the way but thanks to a new aquaintence who noticed it in the first week we met, I now know just to what extent I am so, hehe!)

- I am a planner. I was told this by two people who do not know each other, both in the first week that I got to know them. Now I never had thought about it before though I do plan each minute detail of my life wherever I can (and often get disappointed as a result).

- I am annoying. Yes, this last took some time to digest and I even got upset at the person who said it to me. But, in the end, I went through all our interactions in my head and he was right, I can be very annoying, hehe. Thanks for pointing it out dear!

That about sums up some character traits of my own that I have been mulling over. I would mention the people who suggested them by name but not everyone is like me and enjoys seeing their name written down (yet another character trait of mine). So I leave you tonight with hopefully a more clear picture of who I am, in a blog that somehow seems to be turning more personal. Good night to all, until next time.

Thursday, 13 July 2017

In Crisis Mode: How Minimalism Can Help

Facing yet another blank page, this time because I refuse to let more days pass in order to update this blog, regardless of the fact that I am still to think up the topic for today's entry. I did promise some weeks ago that I would be tackling Minimalism in my life next and I think I might just make it today's main theme.

I mentioned in my post about Zero Waste in relation to my current life situation (which you can read here: http://vintagehew.blogspot.com.mt/2017/05/zero-waste-when-lifes-in-crisis-mode.html) that I find it hard to be a diligent follower of the movement when I am in crisis mode. This to me indicates that the habit is not exactly a part of my life, or at least not enough that it remains crucial even in extreme situations. Minimalism, on the other hand, fits me like a glove and more so in my hours of need!

Whilst other people are put off moving house because it might be too daunting to face hauling all their life's possessions from one home to the next, I managed to pack up all of my fave home decorations in one box! Meanwhile, though I do admit to having more clothing items than a Minimalist usually would, I know and love each item and therefore it will be easy to move everything in an organised manner, rather than if I had a jumble of clothing that I do not know what to do with. Even all my earrings and pendants fit nicely in their ice cube trays, ready to change their drawer home at a moment's notice.

As a last example, can you imagine a non-Minimalist book-lover having to load box after heavy box of books onto the moving truck? I actually shudder to think how non-Minimalists ever move house without giving up halfway through the packing or trips! And when I do set up house again, it will be so much easier to feel complete with less furniture and storage space now that I own less things and want and need less stuff. So all in all, Minimalism has served me well in this new experience that I am going through.

But talk of physical space and practicality aside, another perk of Minimalism is needing less money over all. We can all survive with just food, clothing and shelter but we can't all live with just them. So in a sense, my less-is-more mindset has also freed me from over-worrying over how I will now manage to care for myself and my son on one smallish pay as opposed to living as a unit of three on two pays, my ex's being the better one.

I end today's post here as it is late and my sleep debt is running high (see my last entry about this here: http://vintagehew.blogspot.com.mt/2017/07/the-new-version-of-me.html) hoping to have at least today given a practical argument in favour of Minimalism as a way of life.

Sunday, 2 July 2017

The New Version of Me

Last night I had the first good long night's sleep in months. I was knocked out for over nine hours, which didn't stop me feeling sleepy again this afternoon and taking a siesta whilst my mother minded my little boy.

Why am I saying this? Not only because it explains my never-ending tiredness and therefore why I totally forgot all about the days passing by and when was my next article due as well as the next blog post, but also because there is a reason for my uneasy sleep of late.

I say time and again that I do not discuss my personal life on the blog and I stick by that rule. However when something becomes an official accepted fact, it becomes naturally something I feel allowed to share without really letting anyone in on any secret. So after some months, I think it is time to advise that I am currently single again, for the first time in eighteen years.

Whether this news comes as a shock or no depends on the person reading it, how well or no they know me, and their perception of relationships in general. I have no intention of going into any of the reasons why it happened or my background. Rather, I think it was high time to divulge the news as explanation to my erratic posts. Truly, it feels like my whole world has not ended exactly, but begun again in a different way, something which I was not exactly prepared for.

It is a status that came with consequences attached, which included said lack of sleep and a never-ending stream of new things to see to. Our previously one united unit has turned into two new ones that are still in their newborn year. So as I come to terms with coming up with edible meals and ensuring my budget helps my pay last through the month, as well as my new work timetable, I also find myself constantly questioning the reasons why. For a Romantic, the end of a marriage is hard to digest yet that very trait explains the why of a long-term relationship after all.

There are many things that single life has taught me in these short months and I think the best one of all is that it has made me less afraid of facing anything that comes my way. I can handle driving an unknown road (though I still don't especially like to) and I believe in myself in a way I never have since my teenage years. I have learnt that compliments can hide bad intentions and that people will lie if they can get away with it. Above all I have learnt the value of a good friendship, even coming from an unlikely source.

And so I end this shortish post with hope rather than pain, looking to the future rather than the past, and hoping to make of life the best that it can be.